[Sportschosun Kim So-hee] On "You Quiz on the Block," Jeon Gyeong-cheol, who has raised his son with severe autism on his own, delivered one last message to him. He said it would be okay if his son forgot his father after he passes away, but expressed hope that, one day, if he suddenly remembers him, he will think of him as a warm person.
On the 355th episode of tvN’s variety show "You Quiz on the Block," which aired on the 12th, Jeon Gyeong-cheol, a terminally ill father looking for a place for his 27-year-old son with severe autism to live, appeared on the program.
Yoo Jae-suk introduced Jeon as "a Peter Pan father looking for Neverland for his son." Jeon is a terminal cancer patient with liver cancer and a single father who has raised his 27-year-old son with severe autism alone for more than 20 years.
As Jeon spoke about his son, he kept a bright expression on his face. "He was born in 1999. To me, he is a handsome young nobleman. Many people say he is good-looking, and they also say blood does not lie," he said, showing his deep affection for his son. He then introduced him as "a handsome, strong boy" and explained his mental age. Jeon said, "Medically, his diagnosed age is 2.3 years old. It felt like raising a 2-year-old newborn for 27 years."
His son’s body had grown into adulthood, but mentally he remained like a child. He was a strong 27-year-old man, yet to his father he was still a child who could not be taken off guard for even a moment. It was a life spent holding him with a child’s care while also bearing the body of an adult son.
Jeon pointed to obesity as one of the biggest concerns for parents raising children with disabilities. Managing his son’s weight was also a daily battle.
"He is maintaining 90 kilograms now, but around the time he was 20, he had reached 160 kilograms. He is 90 kilograms now, so he has lost 70 kilograms," he said.
Although his son’s body grew larger as he became an adult, he still could not control his eating on his own. Limiting his food intake to help him lose weight also led to intense conflict between father and son.
Jeon recalled the difficult times, saying, "He would scratch me with his fingernails and ask why I wouldn’t give him food. When I fought with my son over food, my arms were covered in scars."
Even so, Jeon did not give up. "It was a war. I locked the refrigerator with a chain and padlock so he couldn’t open it. We had physical fights every day," he said. "Still, after going through all that, we succeeded in a year. The doctor told me it wasn’t just an obesity issue, but a matter of life and death. What father would neglect a handsome son in his teens when his life was at risk? I really fought for his life."
But the hardship did not end there. After taking care of his mother, who had suffered a cerebral infarction and dementia, he was diagnosed with liver cancer himself. Even when he learned that he did not have much time left, his thoughts were only about his son. His first task was to find "a place where his son could live without Dad."
"I had to find a place where he could live without me. The doctors said I would only have six months if I didn’t get treatment, but I refused it. I thought I could find a place for my child within six months," he said.
But reality was far from easy. Over more than a year, Jeon visited as many as 1,000 places, but not a single one would take his son in. The reason was that caring for a person with severe autism requires a great deal of money and manpower.
In the end, Jeon went to his doctor and pleaded, "Please let me live a little longer. I’ll get treatment, so please let me live just six more months," and then began treatment. It was the moment he chose life again after putting off even his own care in order to find a place for his son to stay.
Jeon eventually shared his story online and later appeared on television, beginning to tell the world about his son’s situation. As his desperate story spread, donations and messages of support poured in, and miraculously, he also found a place that would care for his son.
When asked about his son’s current situation, Jeon said, "He is doing well now. He is living happily."
At last, he had found the "Neverland" he had searched for so long. It was a place where his son could stay safely and live happily even in a world without him. For Jeon, that alone was an immense relief.
But when asked, "Can’t you see him even if you miss him?" Jeon gave an unexpected answer.
"Normally, adults become independent at 20, right? But if he keeps longing for his parents’ arms and thinking about home, how will that help him live on?" he said calmly. "It is right for him to slowly forget me."
He said that forgetting his father might actually be a better life for his son. Still, Jeon then spoke the words he most wanted to say to him.
"I want to tell him to live happily, to completely forget the existence of Dad and live only for his own happiness. But that would not be an honest feeling," he said.
As a father, he could not easily say that he wanted his son to forget him. No parent would truly want to disappear completely from the memory of the child they loved, no matter how much they wished for that child’s happiness. Jeon honestly admitted that feeling as well.
When asked what kind of person he hoped his son would remember him as one day, he said, "A tall, older man who looked at me with a very warm gaze and always prepared lots of delicious food for me." He added, "I hope he remembers me as someone he can’t clearly identify because the memory is faint, but someone he suddenly feels nostalgic about when he thinks of me. That is my final request."
He also said of his son, "I will hold my handsome son, who brought me happiness for 27 years, in my arms," leaving a deep impression.
Reporter Kim So-hee yaqqol@sportschosun.com
This article has been translated by GripLabs Mingo AI.
