[Sportschosun Reporter Jeong An-ji] Singer Ben opened up about the process that led her to decide on divorce and spoke candidly about life as a single mother.
On the 24th, a video titled "'Will I Look Too Funny?' The Reality of Raising a Child as a Single Mother" was uploaded to the YouTube channel "Hyeongsuneun K.Will."
That day, Ben said, "The divorce process was difficult, but ending it was, of course, extremely hard. It was not just about breaking up with this person. We had a child, and I made the decision just six months after giving birth."
She recalled, "In a way, I carried it for five years. I lived with that person for four or five years, and because it was not a romantic relationship anymore, I thought I had to be careful. So I tried enduring it, getting angry, and doing many different things." Ben said that when she became pregnant, she thought, "This child came to save me." She added, "I was going through such a hard time, and when I had the baby, I thought I would be happy no matter what happened."
However, she said, "Even at that moment, problems kept happening. The feeling of betrayal was just too painful," and spoke about the conflict with her husband that continued even then.
Ben also said the process of deciding on divorce was not easy. She said, "I wondered if we should just stay together, and I questioned whether this was really the right choice." She continued, "I looked ahead. I asked myself, 'Three years from now, when my daughter is six, will I be okay?' But I felt I would still have the same thoughts then. If that was the case, I decided we should sort out what was not right as soon as possible."
Ben said through tears, "I am not good at cutting ties or sending someone away. And when I love, I go all in, so even at the end, beyond the trust issue between him and me, he was someone I loved so much as a partner that it was incredibly hard to part ways with him."
Still, she said, "Marriage is not something you can live through with feelings alone, so I made the decision with great resolve." She added, "Even now, I think I made the right choice." Ben emphasized, "Only when I am whole, happy, and alive can my child live well too."
Ben also revealed that her family had opposed the divorce. She said, "My father strongly opposed it. I was also told, 'Everyone lives like that.'" She added, "I still feel sorry, but I believed this was the path I had to take."
She also confessed her fear of public reaction. Ben said, "I got divorced after saying I was going to give birth safely and come back." She added, "It was so hard to even find myself again. And I was terrified of how people would see me. My body was shaking."
She added, "I had no regrets about my choice, but I was afraid of what people would think. I also worried that returning as a single mother after giving birth might look ridiculous."
In the end, Ben decided to tell her story herself. She said, "Since nothing would change anyway, I thought it would be better to explain it myself." She added, "This was not a mistake. It was a necessary choice for me to live well. I wanted to show that 'I am living well now.'" She continued, "If I think too much about others, I suffer too much. I cannot live my life doing nothing." She also said, "Even if they are not celebrities, I hope divorced people do not have to live with a sense of guilt."
She also said, "After the broadcast, I received many messages and words of support from mothers raising children alone and from colleagues." Ben added, "I was glad that so many people said they gained strength from my honesty."
Finally, Ben said, "Everyone lives in a different way," and asked people not to look at others with such harsh eyes.
anjee85@sportschosun.com
