[Sportschosun Jang Jong-ho] A survey has found that divorced people seeking remarriage tend to become exhausted if they spend a long time going on blind dates without finding a match. Men are more likely to burn out, while women become more demanding about a spouse's qualifications.
Only U, a remarriage matchmaking company, and Bienarae, a marriage agency led by CEO Dong-Gyu Son, jointly surveyed 648 divorced men and women nationwide, 324 each, from the 6th to the 12th through email and phone interviews. The respondents were people hoping to remarry later in life. They were asked, "What negative effects occur when the period of searching for a partner becomes longer than expected because remarriage does not happen?"
In response, 30.3% of male respondents chose "burnout," while 32.4% of women chose "a sense of compensation," making them the top answers in each group. The second most common answer among men was "a sense of compensation" at 26.4%, while women cited "burnout" at 25.0%.
The third and fourth answers for both men and women were "lower self-esteem" (men 21.0%, women 22.2%) and "loss of self-objectivity" (men 16.1%, women 14.8%).
Dong-Gyu Son, CEO of Only U, explained, "If remarriage does not happen even after continuing to go on blind dates, both men and women lose morale and become tired." He added, "Meeting many remarriage candidates over a long period takes not only money, but also time and effort. It also means meeting many people with different strengths, so you start thinking about getting your money's worth and wanting to meet a truly perfect spouse who combines all the good points of the people you have met before."
In the second question, "What positive changes happen to you after going through dozens of trial-and-error experiences in the remarriage market?" 33.0% of men and 39.8% of women chose "good judgment"—the ability to spot a "landmine"—as the top answer.
Among men, the next answers were "self-objectivity" at 28.7%, "simplifying standards" at 23.2%, and "stronger emotional immunity," meaning they accept rejection more easily, at 15.1%. Women answered in the following order: "stronger emotional immunity" at 26.2%, "self-objectivity" at 20.4%, and "simplifying standards" at 13.6%.
Lee Kyung, executive director at Bienarae, said, "As blind-date experiences accumulate, people begin to remember the characteristics, strengths and weaknesses of the opposite sex they have met before, dividing them into likable and unlikable types." She added, "When they go on a new blind date, they instantly connect the other person with someone they met in the past and classify them as either likable or unlikable."
In the final third question, "What key weapon do divorced people who enjoy overwhelming popularity with the opposite sex in the remarriage market seem to have?" men overwhelmingly chose "financial stability" at 43.2%, while women picked "thorough self-management" at 41.1%.
For men, the next answers were "thorough self-management" at 27.2%, "mental maturity gained from a failed first marriage" at 16.3%, and "being completely single and free" at 13.3%. Women followed with "being completely single and free" at 25.6%, "financial stability" at 19.4%, and "mental maturity gained from a failed first marriage" at 13.9%.
A representative from Only U said, "No one can dispute that in Korea's marriage and remarriage market, men's financial strength and women's appearance wield overwhelmingly strong influence."
Dong-Gyu Son, CEO of Only U, said, "There is no doubt that divorced people with experience of failed marriages should approach remarriage carefully." He added, "However, if they set unrealistic spouse requirements or develop impractical and unreasonable views on remarriage, a successful match becomes remote. They need to take a realistic approach in line with the trends of the remarriage market."
Jang Jong-ho, bellho@sportschosun.com
